she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
