My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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