are you so shy because you have an std?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
