Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
bring money and cleavage
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize