Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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