I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
