Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
