So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
