If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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