Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
