wakey wakey hands off snakey
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
