best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
