you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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