Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
