Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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