Pants 0. Shit 1.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
worst night to have a conscience
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
