We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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