I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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