Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize