I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
NoShamevember. You game?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
