Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
