So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just cropdusted the office
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i drank out of a bidet.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
