I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
