My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
