You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
