girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
