normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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