that's an acceptable place to lick
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
