Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize