I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize