So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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