Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
