I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
