You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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