She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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