I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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