I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
