I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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