oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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