dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize