I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize