let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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