i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
