If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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