Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
