so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
