tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
