Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If I die, sorry about rent.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
