This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
