Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Its about making memories worth repressing
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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