I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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