So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
