Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
