Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
