Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
