Small penises have feelings too.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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