wat bout pragnant strippers??
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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