im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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