I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
