dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
