omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
