Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
