just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
